Sunday, 31 January 2010

Freakish Strength, Speeding Tickets, and Lesbian Tendencies...

Any of you who know follow the path of the House are well aware of my current adventures. Told though the eyes of the some what insane but obviously inspired Countess. I have been told that I too should be remarking upon our journeys as they progress. I however do not have the skill nor the dedication of my navigator, so here we are about a month in and this is my first blog entry. I shall not even attempt to give true justice to the journeys that have passed. Impart my thoughts on a few highlights but to respond adequately to what my counter part has written would be an obvious folly.

I am currently sitting in the home of my childhood, surrounded by far too many possessions. I do not exaggerate.. one does not walk in my room, the mode of travel one must use to traverse my room would be better described as strategic hopping. There is little to no open floor space. The area that isn't covered with possession prized by my inner pack rat is covered in clothing. I have more clothing than a starlet. Again, I do not exaggerate. I would say that, as a 25 year old from an upper middle class family, the amount of clutter would be excusable as acceptable life accumulation but alas I am shamed. I have also managed to fill the space of at least 2 other respectable sized rooms with my 'things'. I am obviously the terrible product of American consumer culture... the only arguments I can issue in my defense are that a lot is of second hand origins and a fair bit could be classified as stolen. Bite your tongue... I am not a thief. I only steal what is not for sale. You find me a place to purchase road signs and I will stop 'borrowing' them from the department of transportation. But I digress...

I would like to take the time to respond to some obvious trends in From Scones to Biscuits. Firstly, I am not freakishly strong. I am most assuredly of a normal strength. I refuse to give any support to the accusations from the Countess, the entirety of the NJ inhabiting Sweeney family, or that group of guys from that bar in Nashville. Most females of my size can wrestle two females of slighter statue and a small child without issue. I haven't seen it done before but that obviously due to my considerable lack of combatant spectating.

Secondly, I will allow that I may be known to occasionally speed. I just happen to believe in efficient driving time. If you're going to drive somewhere you should go on about getting there. None of this pussy footing around, as my mother would say. That could cause accidents... Again, I have no sufficient evidence to support this theory but a highway isn't something that should be approached passively. You may not know where you're headed but you should at least try to get there in good time, that's what I always say... Alright, so I've never said that but how annoying is it when people fuck around on the road? Honestly, makes me angry just thinking about it.

Lastly, I shall give you my thoughts on lesbian couples. Although I am not upset that we were mistaken as lesbians and I did appreciate the obvious open mindedness of our motel host, the stereotyping was slightly offensive. Mainly because, I will admit with some shame, I was obviously cast as the stereotypical 'man' in the lesbian relationship. Honestly, can't a girl wear flannel anymore without people thinking she harbors same sex tendencies. Perhaps I should amend this, can't a tall fat girl wear flannel out with her overtly sexual skirt wearing best friend anymore without being mistaken as a lesbian?? (hehe) Seriously though, wrong or not he was so adorable and open minded I didn't even consider being offended. I just gathered love muffin and left the office...

More reflections to come as I think of them...


  1. Love you and this blog. But yes you are frekaishly strong and I now call upon the members of the Sweeney clan and those guys humilated in the Nashville bars to back me up.

    Overtly sexual!!!!! Please I am an angel of purity you wench. It was because you were obviously giving me the 'come to bed' eye that he thought we were lesbians. Gosh! I can't take you amywhere without you wanting to rip my clothes off.


  2. angel of purity?? i almost choked on my m&m. you must take better care with your ridiculous denials... you could kill someone.