Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Airborne Ramblings

I find airplanes extremely upsetting. It's not the actual plane no do I have a fear of flying, I don't think the plane is going to fall out of the sky and it is actually, in my mind, quite stupid to worry, I have to fly and I'm already in the air... silly to worry about something that you've lost all control over just by boarding a hunk of flying metal.

As a side note I do find it quite humorous when people worry like that. It makes me want to ask them questions about wing safety and fuel levels. If you look that worried you're just asking for my ridicule. I feel sure this is evil and I know it makes me a bitch but since that isn't exactly a new discovery and you can't really do anything about it, move on. And grow some balls. Admit it. You would love to make fun of me for my worst fear. It's snakes by the way, don't want you to show up for this battle unprepared. I won't be and your quick defeat would be boring and an obvious waste of my time.

Back to how upsetting it is to be trapped in a airborne metal coffin for hours on end with stale air, bad food, smelly bathrooms and enough disease to kill a five year old... they have a steady diet of dirt by the way. That is why planes upset me, not the five year olds with a dirt diet, although children have no business being on a plane, unless heavily drugged. No, planes upset me because I'm trapped and surround by filth. Three dollar prostitutes are cleaner than the air on a plane. Think about that when you make that next sexual expenditure, 3 or 100 ($) take the deal, you most likely wouldn't give as much thought about your health before you shelled out 800 ($) for that trip to Maui.

Did I mention that cramped spaces have the tendency to make me angry and combative? 40 minutes left in this flying trash can o' joy.

The physical:
An Airborne Virgin, in name not innocence
The desired:
The feeling in the forefront:
Hostile Claustrophobia
The smothering sense:
Tactile- The oppressive heavy breath of my fellow caged
In absence of misplaced action:
Escape, I can only think of my exit from my current surroundings
If I were listening closely:
The deep rumble of the heavens passing by

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